From empty nesters to Family Friends
When Mark and Renetta Mistlers’ oldest son left home after getting married a few years ago, the duo didn’t fret over the empty nest or possibility of loneliness.
The couple, with another son grown and gone, instead embraced new possibilities.
“I remember looking around my house one day soon after our oldest son got married, thinking to myself, ‘We have this wonderful home that is equipped just for boys and there is now only two adults in it,” recalled Renetta. “
The couple says they both felt God leading them to minister to boys and soon shared their idea with their good friend, Bill Vondermehden, Boys Ranch director. He told them about the ABCHomes Family Friend program. 
Family Friend is the special designation given to a person or family who wishes to develop a long-term personal relationship with a specific child in the care of ABCHomes. Family Friends invite their child to spend holidays, school breaks and other special days in their home and participate in family outings and trips. An interview, application process and background check is required.
“We have known and loved the Boys Ranch for a long time,” shared Renetta, adding that several Boys Ranch residents attend their home church, First Baptist of Harrison. “We thought the Family Friend would be perfect.”
Family Friends
In December 2009, the Mistlers initiated the needed process to become a family friend and within a few months were matched up with Nathaniel, 16. They added Tyler, 17, to their family this past summer.
The boys, said Mark, are in their home nearly every week for a dinner meal and fellowship. Renetta spends one-on-one time with Nathaniel each Tuesday afternoon. The couple has been Tyler’s biggest fans at his Harrison High School football games this season.
Renetta admits that she possibly spoils the boys just a bit when they visit. She allows them to sleep in late, fixes their favorite meals and takes care of all their laundry during visits. Recalling one of the first times Nathaniel visited and asked to borrow the iron to press his own shirt, Renetta said, “I took that shirt and pressed it for him. I had to do it for him like I always did for my boys.”
During this past Thanksgiving, Mark took both boys to deer camp, where a host of his extended “male” family members, annually spend the holiday. While the three-day event yielded no deer, the boys agree they had a wonderful time.
The boys will spend much of their Christmas vacation with the Mistlers. Holiday plans include a shopping trip to Branson and a trip to Mark’s family in Missouri. Noting that her adult sons will be with their in-laws on Christmas day, Renetta, said, “On Christmas morning, it will be just us and Nathaniel and Tyler. We are very excited about them being with us.”
Mark added, “Our extended families adore both boys. My parents feel like grandma and grandpa.”
“Tyler and Nathaniel are such a part of our family,” shared Renetta. “When they are not with us, we miss them.”
The feeling is mutual for the boys. “Mr. Mark and Mrs. Renetta are great,” shared Nathaniel. “They do really nice things for me and make me feel special.”
Tyler said the Mistlers are great. He enjoys spending time with them.
When the couple first decided to pursue the Family Friend program, Mark said some of their friends thought the “now childless” couple were making a mistake. Mark says he had concerns himself.
“Sometimes it has been hard, but it is worth it,” says Mark, adding that at times when he comes home tired from a long day at work and doesn’t feel like heading out to a cold football game or driving out to the Ranch, God soon reminds him that, “These boys need us. They need us to love them.”
Mark said the “blessings out way” any frustration or the cost of time or energy. “To see the changes in their lives is incredible. To see them smile when we show up is worth it to us,” said Mark.“You can’t put a price on that.”
Renetta said she is continually learning from the boys.
“I find myself getting frustrated at the little things even like waiting in line at the drive-thru,” she said,. “But the boys don’t let things like that bother them. They are content and thankful .... Even though they may not have all the latest electronic devices and gadgets like other teenage boys, they are okay. It is a great reminder to me.”
Mark said that he and Renetta plan on being a Family Friend to Tyler and Nathaniel for “as long as the boys will keep showing up at our house. We hope they will continue to be a part of our family even after they leave the Ranch.”
Nathaniel said they can count on it. “I plan on spending a lot of time with them. They area special people to me,” shared Nathaniel.
Vondermehden praises the Mistlers for their commitment to Tyler and Nathaniel.
“Mark and Renetta have huge hearts for the boys at the ranch,” says Vondermehden. “Having raised two boys of their own they are adept at understanding the challenges that ranch boys have faced in their lives.
“At first they were cautious about being family friends but the Lord has blessed them time and again for their faithfulness,” added Vondermehden. “We now share a common bond with the Mistlers as we both partner to give these boys the direction they need.”
For information on becoming a Family Friend at the Boys Ranch, email Jeanie Hunt at jhunt@abchomes.org or call (870) 741-5784. For information on the Family Friend program at the Children’s Home in Monticello, call (870) 367-5358.